#8. THE ONE ABOUT THAT ONE TOXIC RELATIONSHIP I WAS IN.

I think being in a toxic relationship is such a canon event. Like you will never forget it and it really changes you.

For me, it changed me for the better and for the worse.

I was in that relationship for almost 6 years on and off.... whew, even thinking about it now, I don't think I realized I was in it for 6 years, my goodness.

And when I say on and off, I really mean it. We would be on for like 8 months, then off for like a month or two.

We met in school, when we were both young and free. I had just gotten out of a relationship where I was cheated on, and this guy came into my life and swept me off my feet. Literally actually, because the first time we truly hang out, he carried me bridal style. And let me tell you, I was hooked after that.

We ended up spending the night together that first time we hang out, and we became inseparable since then.

Things started going left three months in. We went on a trip and after we got back, we were fighting all the time. I think he really saw how good I really look on that trip because bikinis and shorts nini nini, and jealousy kicked in.

I noticed I would tell him how I want to join the gym and he would say weird things like "so you want to go the gym so men can start looking at you?" "you want to go and meet other men?"

I would find that weird but then I would tell myself he loves me so much he wants to protect me.... I was young, please don't judge me.

Mind you, he was a gym rat. He didn't even offer to train me. Crazy.

Anyway, that relationship was like that for all those 6 years. And even when I would find out he was cheating on me, I would still take him back because of how he always managed to sweet talk me into taking him back.

Let me tell you, I even discovered he was talking to one of my friends, and I still took both of them back. Worst one, I found out he slept with someone and got an STD and I still considered taking him back. But, that was the last straw for me. (clap for me). I think finding out how much of a demon he was that he could make me take him back and he'd still go sleep with someone and get an std and put me at risk, made me realize I was actually in danger at the hands of this man.

So I left.

I left with a fearful avoidant attachment style, but I now don't take bullshit.