WHAT IS LIFE? #1. THE ONE ABOUT THE FRIENDSHIP I'M STILL HEALING FROM.

You know those friendship break ups that happen out of nowhere but you know need to happen? Yes, that's what happened to me. I was friends with this girl for years, but somehow, I could see the end was near.

Throughout the years, I always showed up for her. I would always be there whenever she needed me. I tried very hard to make her see that I was in her corner. But this girl was wounded. I didn't know how much, until I realized how I was people pleasing just to make her feel less alone.

She would always say things like "I don't trust people". And I would always wonder if she was including me in that list. Because how can you not see how much I show up for you? I defend you to people who tell me that you're not a good friend to me. And that I deserve better friends. "You guys don't know her like I do" "you know she's just wounded because of her abandonment issues" - is what I would tell people in her defense.

It didn't help that she was conventionally beautiful and smart, so everywhere we went people worshipped the ground she walked on. So I was only adding to the delusion. Because instead of love and appreciation, I got condescension and disregard in return for my kind heart and "people pleasing". Maybe that's why people say 'you're people pleasing but no one is pleased - including you".

Well, safe to say, that friendship ended. And it ended in a weird way- we both went silent on each other. I found my worth and I realized how much I was giving to someone who was only used to taking.

Now, I'm picky with my friendships and I'm careful about pleasing everyone but myself.

But I always wonder - is she sorry for how she treated me?